Olympic Sports That Might Have Been

In the small percentage of Olympic events I've been able to catch, I have noticed a shortcoming among the sports. Where are all the events dedicated to those champions, those heroes, those people just crazy enough to experience it - - - PARENTS!!! In honor of my fellow moms and dads, I have compiled a list of the Olympic sports that should have been. Maybe next year, folks.

1. Baby Food Feeding - medals would be awarded for fewest spills onto the bib and effective dodging of sweet peas and carrots spit out of baby's mouth during the meal.
2. Diaper Wrestling - Points earned for fastest changing times, least number of wipes used, and (for boy contestants only) avoiding fountain-like expulsions when cold air contact is made (shout out to Lisa Wheeler for the heads-up on this one!)
3. The 9 Month Waddle - This one is for moms only (sorry, dads!). Expectant athletes race to see who can get to the freezer full of ice cream while demonstrating the best waddle walk. Disqualification for pushing, swearing, or falling over.
4. DWI - Driving With Infants - Participants must navigate through an obstacle course of traffic lights, stop signs, and drunk pedestrians WHILE blindfolded by a three year- old's hands, WHILE listening to "This Old Man, He Played One" at top volume, and WITH the added soundtrack of a screaming baby. Extra points awarded for successfully carrying on a conversation with your husband in the passenger seat.
5. Attitude Challenge - This event is not for the faint of heart. Athletes must be mentally prepared, armed with an arsenal of thought-out and age-appropriate responses, and blessed with the patience of a saint. In this event the contestants will be challenged by a toddler's cries of "But I wanted to pour my juice MYSELF!", "You're a MEAN MOMMY!", and the dreaded "NO!". Beginner level challenges will take place in the comfort of a home environment, but advanced level participants will compete in various public settings such as the grocery store and church lobby. Watch out, parents - this one is characterized by onlookers gaping at your discipline techniques and whispering, "Look at THAT lady's kids!"

*****
On second thought, maybe I'm GLAD these aren't Olympic sports! I'm tired already!

Love and miss everyone.

Old, yes; Faithful, no

Well, we survived our weekend in West Yellowstone sans kids. I won't even tell you what time we slept in until (it's too embarrassing) but let's just say I haven't slept that long since shortly after college. We had a great time driving through Yellowstone National Park and took a stop at Old Faithful to see what all the fuss was about. It was odd to be sitting on such a tumultuous piece of the earth - a little unsettling with all of the hydrothermal areas and geysers springing out of the ground. For those of you who might never get to cross the Mississippi to see Old Faithful for yourself, I've included a video of the most exciting part. Bo, I might add, was not as impressed as all of the tourists who gasped and grabbed their Nikons at the first little drop of water to appear. (No eyeballs were injured in the rolling that followed). She was almost 7 minutes late to erupt so everyone was on the edge of their seat.

The rodeo was a blast, and we came out of the weekend with only a dislocated elbow to write home about. Oh, sorry - WE didn't get dislocated elbows - one of the saddle bronc riders did. Bo did a great job announcing and we met a seriously crazy Russian grandma who wanted to shake his hand because he was "FAMOUS!" It was funny but disturbing all at the same time.

I'll try to post more with pictures later this week. We are home this weekend and then back again to West Yellowstone next weekend for the finals. Juliana is very excited to go and see her friend, the rodeo clown, once again.

Miss ya'll!

You Say It's Your Birthday!

As always, it's been an interesting week here at the Wagner household. Last Saturday was Juliana's 3rd birthday party!! Those of you who remember when she was born are probably thinking what I'm thinking - how can it have been three years already? Rather than post (I'm so tired I almost spelled that "poast"...like "toast") a bunch of pictures, I'm including a link to my Shutterfly album of the Princess party. There's a few pictures of Landon in there, too, that were too hilarious not to include. Juliana had a fantastic time at her party, and couldn't believe that all of those presents were really for her. She was really into opening them until she got to the gift that included a pink purse, lip gloss, and her favorite present of all...GUM! (Thanks, Myla!) After that the presents were only so much tissue paper - she really could have cared less if she opened another one the rest of the day. She kind of flipped out when we went in to cut the cake and sing "Happy Birthday". It was a little too much to have everyone staring at her and being the complete center of attention. Enough rambling - here's the link to the pictures:

share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8Cat3DNy0asii

In other news, Bo has been worshiping at the temple made of stone - kidney stone, that is. We were in the emergency room last night from 12:30 am until somewhere after 4:00. He got two bags of fluid, lots of morphine, and a reminder of why it's good to drink water when your name is Bo Wagner. Chad Cozad was visiting from NC so it was a blessing to be able to leave the kids sleeping while he was at the house. We like to break all of our visitors in with some kind of midnight surprise, like "Hey! We're outta here! You're in charge of our offspring!" and hit the road for the nearest emergency center. Just for kicks, of course. Those of you who have been fortunate enough to witness my husband on narcotics would have been proud. He held his own and did not have to be physically assisted out of the hospital.

We are leaving tomorrow for West Yellowstone; my first visit to the Yellowstone National Park area. I am told it's one of the most beautiful places in Montana so I'll be sure to post a few pictures when we get back.

Hope everyone is doing great! Love and miss ya.